A Friendly Email From Your Former Gym

Hey girl hey

Steffany Ritchie
4 min readAug 20


A male trainer at a gym helps a young woman stretch, an older man in the background looks on.
Photo by Johnny Garcia: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-touching-woman-on-her-belly-while-lying-on-floor-2011383/

January 1st

Hey you! We noticed you let your membership lapse during the ‘Rona! It’s cool, we get it! (although we did offer free workout videos during that time, did you get them?!).

We are just checking in to say we would love to have you back sometime! Anytime you feel like, although no time like the present!

As an incentive, here is a free promo code to waive the join fee. “COMEBACKGURL” You know it will feel great to be back! Catch you on the flippity flip!


Jonas, Pumped Guns Gym

February 2nd

Hey Bestie!

Did you get our last offer? It seems like you weren’t quite ready to re-start your fitness journey with us yet! Well, because we miss you so much, we are stoked to say here is ANOTHER code for a free first month AND NO JOINING FEE! “FITBABELIFE”

We are sure you will be back feeling great and moving dat booty in no time!

Take Care,

Elias, Pumped Guns Gym (#pumpedgunsgym on socials — hey we noticed you aren’t following us! Come say hi!)

March 3rd

Dear M’am,

Happy Birthday! Phew, another year older! Just kidding, we think you rock, at any age!

Although if you want rock hard abs again in this life, you might want to consider coming back into the fold!

Because we care, and are committed to your health (even when you aren’t!) we are going to extend this one time offer of waiving your join fee.

AND because we miss you so, your first THREE months are on us!

We know you remember your nine digit membership code, it is embedded in your brain for all eternity now.

Just enter that, and our special offer code “LARDASSLADY5”

See You Soon!

Brock, Pumped Guns Gym Manager

March 4th

Dear Miss L.,

I am SO sorry for the mistyped promo code in our last email. You have every right to be offended, please know that it was a completely unintentional…



Steffany Ritchie

Hi, I write memoir, essays, music, and pop culture. American in Scotland.


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