I am so sorry your adopter was so negative and dismissive. But so happy you found your birth family, that is wonderful! My dad was adopted and never traced anything. After his passing last year I found the names of his birth parents on his birth certificate. I was pretty excited to see if I could find out anything about where he came from. Like you I joined Ancestry. I did the membership thing at first but it never really paid off, and the emails are so annoying. You are so right the fact they gatekeep this information is really crappy and unfair.