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MORE FUN WITH MENOPAUSE AND MIDLIFE

I’m Allergic to Latex Now, Apparently

The never-ending surprise of midlife ailments

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Photo by Reza Delkhosh on Unsplash

I seem to have developed a spontaneous latex allergy. Not that I had any plans, but R.I.P. to any future BDSM exploits or career. Or fancy dress. The closest I ever got to wearing latex was probably a pair of pleather pants I wore one Halloween. I borrowed them from a friend, as we decided at the last minute to dress up.

I think I was going for some sort of generic homage to a Grease type girl/ pink lady. We were going out dancing. It was a fairly eventful night: I found that somewhat to my surprise pleather pants attract men like crazy.

So while being deeply uncomfortable/sweaty, I was swatting them off like flies. I ended up making out with this tall, insanely hot guy just because it seemed sort of criminal not to.

Anyway. Present day me is foiled again by my aging body. Last week I cut my knuckle, fairly deep. How did I accomplish this? Well, by cutting a tag off of a new blazer I bought for a funeral. I must have glanced away and hey presto my knuckle is gushing blood. Just another day in the life of a clumsier than usual perimenopausal pink lady.

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Steffany Ritchie
Steffany Ritchie

Written by Steffany Ritchie

I write nonfiction, pop culture and assorted nicheless varietals. American in Scotland. Publisher of "Cancer Sucks, So Let's Talk About it More"

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