I'm so sorry you have had so many harsh lessons/experiences with lack of support during such a difficult time in life. I can relate to feeling let down by people who I though would be there now too, it's so disappointing. But nothing we can do about it either, people will either be there for us or they won't. You have the ability to spread joy with your music, I am so happy you are continuing to seek out ways to do that. Best of luck with your job hunt and your next chapter in life, I believe better things are coming, we only get stronger and more decisive about what we do want as we age and go through these trials I think (hope!).