Maybe if more local papers had not taken life so deadly seriously they would still be around. I always appreciate humor in pretty much any writing, glad you stuck with it! I have never tried oysters and your description doesn't endear them (although I do like other gross/weird sea creatures, something about oysters has never appealed, perhaps because my aunt used to bring me the pearls she found shucking them in the restaurant she worked at. It seemed cruel to eat something that can create fine jewelry!)