The Ugly Stage of Grief
No, I didn’t get healed yet Van Morrison
I was listening to a Whitney Cummings podcast a while ago where she was talking about the death of her parents or one of her parents, and she said a friend said something to her at the time that helped her: she told her not to even try to talk to anyone who hasn’t lost a parent in the next year/first year after their death.
It sounds dramatic, and is not always doable in reality, but I get it now. I remember it stuck with me for some reason. I have had friends lose their parents. Some of my friends when I was at school lost a parent very young, I had three close friends lose their mom at around the same age. I was always aware of the idea of the impact grief can have on life.
But it really is something you don’t understand until it happens to you. I read this EXCELLENT piece about the profound loneliness and abandonment feelings of grief by Victoria Peel-Yates here this week.
And it just nailed everything I am going through after the death of my dad. Just being a walking ball of emotions, and feeling like I have to keep it all in. I let it all out, to some extent, for the first few weeks. But it seems endless still. I didn’t know I cared so much, and it is killing me that I feel like I have nowhere to put this or heal or find closure. I don’t know how to do that in my situation.
