There Are 10 Drafts in My Medium Drafts Folder and I Hate Them All

There are 20 more in my MS Word files…unimpressive I know but I stopped writing for a while ok.

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

Hey it could be worse at least I’m not this stock model simulating what…a torture porn horror film?

I’m struggling. Everything I write lately turns from gold to a hot turd before my eyes whenever I go back to try to polish it up for the old Medium eyeball gallery. What the eff did I just write — eyeball gallery? Peanut gallery? Is that still a saying? What am I, a hundred?!

I guess I am just unconvinced by any of my ideas lately.

I don’t know if it’s the feeling like a failure for not getting more reads thing or what - I am very aware I am a relative newb here still. But every day it seems I read posts by people who have been here the same amount of time as me who have written like 400 articles.

I have written…I don’t know maybe 16 in three months. Which for me is GOOD, I had written ZERO blog posts in almost a year when I joined Medium. So yeah, I am ok with that but also aware by Medium standards it’s not great.

This pressure to churn/produce Medium catnip is wearing on me a bit. When I first joined Medium I felt that initial elation, freedom even, as I had begun to feel hemmed in by a rather boring and…