Thoughts While Walking Home Alone On a Dark Autumn Night

The moon will guide me

Photo by Elijah O’Donnell: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-black-jacket-carrying-backpack-with-tousled-hair-walking-on-the-street-at-night-2389349/

Ah, the smell of a peat fire, so comforting and cozy. Even though it is likely destroying the ozone.

The air is crisp and has a chill. It makes me feel like I want to start something new, like the world is my oyster.

I am completely alone. My footsteps are loud, the leaves crunching beneath my tread satisfying.

Was that my footstep? I can hear so many sounds all of a sudden, now that I am alone, and it is dark.

Why is it so dark? Why do the street lights barely cast a glimmer of light? I can barely see two feet in front of me. What dumbass decided this was safe?

I feel vulnerable, yet stupid for feeling vulnerable. I am too old for this. I am too old to be kidnapped and god knows what else, surely? So why do I still feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up for no reason? Will I ever not feel this way?

I feel angry. I am sick of never feeling entirely carefree and safe walking home alone at night. I wish I was a man.

Now I am on a more brightly lit street. I feel safe. Defiant, I decide to walk an extra block and loop back towards home. I want to recapture the giddy spring in my step I had at the start of this walk.