Totally understandable fears/emotions to be having right now, wherever you are in the world I think. I admit I went from being super prepared during lockdowns and learning new ways to cook with less ingredients, right back to my old lazier ways. Two years of stress and I just want to feel normal again, but I don't think normal is coming back either.

You are way more self sufficient and prepared to handle anything than most people, America would be a total shit show if stuff went seriously wrong. At least where I live there are no guns lol we will just duke it out if there is anyone left.

My recent travel experience had such bad luck/juju the whole time. I have to travel to see family like you but it's so stressful right now. There is a Joni Mitchell song called Urge For Going that I always relate to, I think it's natural to wish a change of scene would fix things/lift us up, and sometimes it can but sometimes you just have to deal with where you are at. I am glad you have such a supportive partner, I hope things stay calm there with everything that is going on.