Why It’s Ok for a Person with Cancer to Reject Positivity and Not (Always) Be Brave
On the societal expectations of bravery from a former cancer patient’s perspective
In my experience as a person who went through cancer, I often felt that there was a societal expectation that people who get cancer are inherently brave or magically more positive than anyone else.
I think it needs to be talked about more, because it brushes our real feelings about the experience of cancer conveniently away for anyone who would rather not have to deal with it in a psychologically harmful swoop.
There were a few years after my diagnosis and treatment for aggressive Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at the age of 28 where I felt particularly adrift. I had largely hidden my depression/terror it might come back any day, without really knowing how to express that as a member of the post cancer club.
I didn’t want to disappoint anyone I guess. After all, I was a cancer SURVIVOR. It seemed selfish to bring anybody down with my less than amazing internal mental state. Everyone was so cheered and inspired by my making it through, it felt like I at least owed them a happy face.
For a year after I finished treatment, people would positively beam anytime they heard I was…
